On not wearing stilts on cobbles

So, advice to all stilt wearers... avoid the cobbles of Corrie. Fred Elliot was probably Corrie's best known stilt wearer and look what happened to him. Liz McDonald wore a lot of stiletto heels when she was working the street corner.

Fizgan's fears

Fizgan is terrified of wearing heels in the street and has instead taken to wearing wellingtons with lifts inside. Hyrone keeps sensible shoes on hand. By which I mean he keeps them nearby and not literally on his hands.

Loft insulation

Books about benefits lined the office shelves. Need or greed? The social security officer eyed up the couple in front of them. "You've applied for Universal Credit, Child Benefit, Housing Benefit, a free TV licence, a clothing grant and loft insulation. Don't you think you've applied for too many benefits? "Oh gosh, no. We have a child and one on the way," replied Hyrone. "And beside the loft insulation isn't for us. It's for my brother who needs some insulation on top."

Horizon Scanning in the Kabin

"Horizon scanning," said Rita. "It means looking ahead and planning your business strategy. And we need to do it."

Brian looked at the shop around him. Mags and fags. Was there really a future here? 

"What are you suggesting:" he asked, tidying up the small pile of papers on the counter. 

"We need to promote our celebrity couple." 

"Fizgan and Hyrone?"

"No. Roy and Gail. According to a leaked storyline in one of those red top papers we sell, they are due to fall in love and get married. It will be the big Christmas story. We can put a card in the window saying that Roy and Gail met here. Tourists will flock to the site of where they had their first date, when Roy was thumbing through Railway Gauge Monthly and Gail came in to pay her overdue paper bill."

Brian was beginning to warm to the idea.

"We can commission mugs with pictures of them holding hands. We could commission a calendar... The Cropper and Gail families.... solo pictures of Gail, Roy, David, Nick, Sarah-lou, the grandchildren, Nina. And for Christmas, a big picture of the happy family all together. David in an Elf suit, Nina dressed as the Grinch."

Joyeous times.  No one knew what this foreshadowed.